those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
