I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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