His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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