Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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