There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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