We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
