I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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