I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize