You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Randomize
