In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize