Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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