someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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