can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
