OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
