Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
