a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
He kissed a someone with a penis
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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