Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
