I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Sorry my hands just texted you
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
