We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
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Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
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Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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