How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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