It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
