The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
