im about as happy as oj after his trial
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
