I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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