didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You can't special order awesome
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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