At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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