If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
