i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
