You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
So squirting runs in the family.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
