Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
