she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
