No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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