This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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