we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
