i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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