i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
