Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
