dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
he shaved USA in his pubs
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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