Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
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