i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
