Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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