PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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