Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize
