Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
