I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
