Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
