Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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