What did we do last night that was yellow?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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