Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
