Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
