Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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