Im at strip club and am horny
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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