wat bout pragnant strippers??
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
