for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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