"it" just moved
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
There are leaves in my underwear?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
