I bet he comes in French.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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