Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
