Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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