I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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