I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
