All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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