Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I am mentally ready for anal.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
