I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
