mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
is it fun? or sober?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
