Whoa Z and x make the same sound
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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