I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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