they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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