I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
